I'm standing here... looking at the wreck i've just created.. the half burnt bridge.. the line that brought us together.. yet it's now tearing us apart. I continue to look at the remaining pieces of wood. Is it worth hanging onto? Is it worth the aching pain to continue to clutch onto that piece of wood knowing that it may not get me anywhere?

I don't know where I'm standing anymore. I tried to let go .. I tried to watch the flame break us apart, but i just couldn't. I put it out.. hoping to still be able to reach you despite the breakage. But when the smoke died out.. you were gone.. as if you disappeared with the smoke..

Is it worth the wait? Is it worth the pain and confusion? I keep asking myself the same questions. I can't figure out what you want. I can't figure out how we've come this far and all of a sudden, it's all just vanished. I feel as if you've just stabbed me. Right to the core. I don't know if what we had was even genuine. Was it all just for show? Or did you actually mean it when you said you felt something.. when you said you cared..

I'm still standing here.. contemplating.. flicking the lighter on and off.. silently crying inside... wondering if i should continue to burn this bridge.. yet.. i know i can't.. not yet.. not until I know for sure...

I'm hanging on tight.. yet I feel like I'm slipping... falling.. drowning.. trying to re-surface.. but it's just hurting me so much.. I don't think I can come back up and face reality... not yet.

I thought I was stronger than this... but I guess I was wrong.

"I'll feel nothing. . ."- I lied.
It was the only way to get away from you.
Get away from everything that has caused me so much confusion and pain.

It's only for a little while. . . until everything falls back into place . . maybe then . .
we'll see each other again.

x3

Wrong Person.

Wrong Chance.

Wrong Time.

Dear Blog.

Today was an exceptionally okay day.
6:45. I woke up. YES! I WOKE UP BEFORE 7AM! Haven't done this for months... Thanks to the late nights doing god knows what.
So I woke up to "I gotta a feeling", *pffting* to "Cos tonight's gonna be a good good night" why? Cos I have no tutor and it's gonna be a boring night . chk chk boom!

BIG WOW- My mum and I did not fight. Man that's like epic achievement.

So i got to school earlier than usual... recounted my gay weekend and how i used a gay pick up line that did not work xD!

1st period... history hahaha. the ration of asians to non-asians 13:3. Lol. all the lebos were out for Eid. Happy Eid !

2nd Period- science. Woo! DNA, Pedigrees, Homozygous ^^ Lol.. took me ages to understand: "Brown is dominant. If Brown was recessive then offsprings would not have blond hair" or some crap like that T___T" Mr. Hilton helped me =) Science is interesting now... since we're not learning about the stupid stars anymore .

3rd Period- Maths. SUBSTITUTE. Ms Abraham! Woo. We did probability.
Lol. Lisa and I were texting each other... and we were sitting back to back. . . Lame. I know. Unoe what sucked? My fone lagged T___T" haha.

LUNCH! Went down to canteen cos a certain teacher with a certain hot appearance was on duty ;-) so i actually bothered to line up behind 20 people. LOL.
And i've officially lost my touch in handball.. I blame the fact that both my legs are injured. OH did i mention? I stacked it AGAIN yesterday. So there's this purple bruise on my ankle/ foot. Apparently I should go get my self checked up by the doctors cos i bruise easily.. hmm.

Last period- PE! Woo! Orals ;)... presentation. HAH. Yeh. I went 3rd. And it was awesome =) Did self-defence and it was funny. I actually imitated a typical girl walking on the street. and i kinda swayed my ass .. which was bad == LOL.
but the presentation went well. Lol. Jess' was funny. She was so clear and consise, it sounded like she was talking to a group of special eds... or am i just special eds so i noe the feeling.. ? LOL. SIF!
I loved catherine's presentation.. why ? cos she was good! and she taught me something I should know.. ROFL. how to feel a racket down ;-) chk chk boom.
OMG. I finally noe what a forehand and backhand is in tennis == Made a total idiot of myself the other day... "guessing" that it was the position of the grips . hmfph ==
I'm a sadly informed person...

Anyways... That was it.. hometime... 4 periods. that sucks.

Oh i think im getting my student of the month award tomorrow. WOO. NERD ALRET xD.

Hmm. I miss benazir. =(
And I also miss speaking to my oppa who has now vanished from this side of the world.

So .. what do u do when ur interested in someone but their feelings don't correspond?
I believe the answer is persistency . . . or. . . G.O [Game over]
Help me out =)

'Till tmrw.
Black Belta.
xoxo.

P.S! The poem below. It wasn't me. Some poor loser wrote it and i thought I'd post it since it .. uh.. touchd my heart? Hah. As if i'm that poetic *roll eyes*. . .

I never loved you
So why am I feeling this way?

You never held me
So why has my heart stop beating?

You and I were never together
So why do I feel like something's missing?

Was I really falling for you?
- msb

"Did it hurt? Falling from heaven?" Worse pick up line ever. LOL.

Meh it's sunday again! and hotmail just informed me that there's 5 more days until my birthday! WOO! Can't wait. sexteen! ;-)

Hm.. quite a dull day today. So i'll recount yesterday.
Yesterday Nancy, Henry and I went to bankstown to find an outfit for my biday... i've never had to strip so much in my life T__T" Hurt my grazed legs so much ==
Well i ended up spending 50 bux on the outfit.. its soo cute! But i'll save it.
Nancy got a pair of jeans from supre size S and a shirt like mine but in pink =) soo cute!
Omg! There's a hot guy that works at EB games. Man his hair and ass. I'll be visiting there more rgularly now. heh.
We then went to the best place in the world.. HABIBS! *SLURPS* The chips are just *speechless*. So we gained a few kilos eating chicken salted chips. yum yum yum! It was worth the walk and wait and weight xD

Meh my recounts suck.

So now I must do astronomy homework from tutor which is due tomorrow T__T" Gah! And also repractice a speech for PE due tomorrow. Greattt! Oh and maths homework. Man. I got a lot to do. CBB!!

Oh the photos are of the dresses i tried on.. which was pretty but... uncomfortable cos my ass sticks out to much.. hence lifts up the dress too much wen i bend. Sucks. They were cheap as well..

OMG I SAW A PAIR OF HEELS! SO PRETTY! $109!! I shall be saving up for that... it's like hot!

anyways.. off to do homework
xoxo

Hello. Thought I should blog today since it was such a hectic day... I'm currently bleeding in several spots (as a result of stack jobs)

Okay. Well I'll start with the highlight of the day: Fiona tips, semi-flip and lands on concrete slap bang in the middle of the quadrangle where EVERYONE turned there heads and simply went "OHHHH"
So.. We were playing handball (IVE GONE PRO) I was on a roll. Making my way up to the ladder. The ball rolls away so I went to fetch it since evryone reckons im a lazy ass. So i jump over the stack of bags and fetch the ball. I throw the ball back into the square and make a leap over the bags. I didn't make it... my foot got caught, I did a semi flip and body slammed onto the ground. And next thing i hear... people going "OHHH" LOL. Lisa missed it and she was right next to me. I quote her afterwards "I turn and you're on the floor with ur white shirt brown and ur skirt all white I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED YOU STACK IT!"
Me: "I WAS ON A ROLLL! I WAS WINNING THE HANDBALL GAME!"
lISA " yeh u were on a roll alright.. rolled to the ground " T__T"
So. i stacked it and i swore. ONE DOLLAR 20! GRRR. Anyhow. I started cracking up like an idiot and dragged lisa to the toilet.. but really. i ran out of the quad and sat down and started to wail and scream out my pain. Two of my knees and right elbow was bleeding and my thigh was grazed. oh em gee T__T"
So that's my public humilation. Spent the rest of the day limping around with six band-aids. GRR
OH! MEGAN CALLED POISON JUST TO SIT DOWN AND LAUGH AT ME! I HATE U!

And to make matters worse.. my mum was pissed and accidently shoved the couch into my toe.. I ran off and started crying my head of for like 20 minutes in the bathroom. I went to have a shower and i was still crying because all the cuts hurt so much == It is now bleeding and has gone black. And i had to pour the stupid damn green oil into it . =__=

Anyhow.. on a lighter note. The geo exam is OVER
And the funny thing about it... I put africa under China wen labbeling the asian pacific map.. oh god =__=. IM NOT GOOD A GEOGRAPHY AIIGHT!
LOL

*sigh* 7 more days until im 16 =D
can't wait...

till next time
bleeding belta x3